We expect that after the three hour classes, 6am wake up calls and essays up on essays, when we finish university our lives are going to be amazing. We’re going to get the job we’ve always wanted, earn enough money to move out into a cute studio apartment in the inner city with a pug named Barry, travel around the world and start living our lives to the fullest.

It’s all bullshit.

The reality is that none of this happens. At least to the majority of us it doesn’t. I finished my Media degree at the end of last year and since then I’ve gone from dreaming to seriously doubting. I spend my days scrolling through job sites looking for anything that’ll catch my eye but, nothing. I click apply now, wait weeks for a reply but, nothing.

It’s heartbreaking.

I have a mentality that I won’t settle for anything that’ll ‘just pay the bills’. I don’t want a life like that and I need to put my mental health first always. I apply for job after job and get nothing but rejection after rejection back. After six months, I’ve really begun doubting myself and my life.

I know I’m only 21 and in the big scheme of things, I’ve got my “whole life ahead of me” but I’m scared that if I leave it too long my skills and qualifications won’t mean anything anymore. That’s the world we live in. Everything becomes obsolete within 12-24 months, I’m worried I will too. The thing is deep, deep, deep down I know I’m good at what I do. I love video editing, content making and writing and I know I have the potential to work for a company and really succeed in my career, but when I don’t get a phone call for that one job, I question myself. Am I really as good as I think I am? Should I even bother with media? Am I just wasting my time?

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a pity party and I know so many other graduates feel the same but it’s not really what I expected to happen six months out of uni. Maybe I was just being hopeful, or just being naive. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy but I didn’t expect it to affect me the way it has. I had people telling me I’d be earning minimum wage for a while and probably won’t be moving out anytime soon. That’s fine. Mum makes great food and money isn’t my priority, but getting a foot in the door is.

I just wish someone warned me about this kind of self-doubt, you know?